#29scenes Day 14

#29scenes writing challenge

DAY 14 scene idea: *Two men arrive with flowers at the same woman's house on Valentine's Day*

Happy Venereal-disease Day!
As promised yesterday, here is the scene written by The Bourne Identity screenwriter which yesterday's challenge was based off:


EXT.  OCEAN  -  NIGHT

Darkness. The sound of wind and spray.

The darkness is actually water. A searchlight arcs across heavy ocean swells. Half a dozen flashlights - weaker beams - racing along what we can see is the deck of an aging fishing trawler.

Fishermen struggling with a gaff - something in the water -

A human corpse.


So, how did your scene compare? Did you capture a similar poetic brevity, or did you take a different tact? Look back at the scene you wrote yesterday and see where you could improve it.