December 22, 2011

Writing a Scene - Scriptcast notes

Hello my festive eyeballers. Today’s Screenwriters Anonymous is about scene writing. This handful of nuggets comes care of the Scriptcast podcast (you can find it here on iTunes). You could go listen to it yourself, or you can save your minutes and read the crux below, but it's still a podcast worth a regular listen.

I’ve gotta say, I love a lot of these screenwriting podcasts, and we should show gratitude to the awesome folks who make them without getting a buck back from them. Kudos.

* Start with a slugline – what happens? (What needs to happen in the scene based off your outline?)
* Four elements:
-An emotional moment (if you’re writing comedy, this could be the funny bit)
-A character moment
-Plot movement
Your MUST have AT LEAST TWO of these moments per scene.
* What information are you giving? Do you give it more than once? Cut that shit down, son.
* What does each character want, and what will they do to get it?  Where’s the CONFLICT?!
* You can add a third character to a scene to create friction when the two other characters are talking (the great example they gave was The Big Lebowski, how when Walter & The Dude are talking at the bowling lane, Donnie keeps pissing Walter off).
* Characters CAN hate each other.
* You can get a lot of comedy from a stupid character, or a character that lies a lot.
* Think of several ways to write a scene. Don’t just write it one way! Explore. Rigidity is not your friend – experimentation is (unless you’re in college, in which case rigidity and experimentation may go together).

That's all for today, but very soon I'll post a chunky recap of the brilliant Scriptchat on THRILLERS. It should be... thrilling. Yes, I know. Dad humour. I love you too.

Merry Crustmas, Happy Harmonukkah, Joyous Ryan Kawnten-za, and any other holiday religion I forgot to offend. Stay safe, be generous, and get started on those New Year's Resolutions. Next year is set to be huge, considering it will be Earth's going out of business sale, if you believe those meddling Mayans.

Screenwriters Anonymous - when we say give yourself over to a higher power, we do not mean Robert McKee.

December 4, 2011

Structure - tips from Scriptchat

We're born, we do shit, we die. There's our three act structure.
But when it comes to the stories we tell, it gets more complicated, because we must play God and be the architect of our characters' fates.

Structure is a tricky thing - so set in stone in some ways, so loose and 'anything is possible' in others. And it's something you'll be lucky if they teach in a screenwriting course (I am scowling at my university as I write).

Here are some gems shared by the brains trust of Scriptchat. I hope you find some helpful wisdom in here.

STRUCTURE 30th October 2011

* There’s overall structure and individual scene structure.
* When writing a scene ask yourself “What do I want this scene to be about?” Let that guide how you construct the scene.
* Start with a solid structure (don’t overthink it!) then let your characters run free so the structure becomes organic.
* Once the outline is written, stop stressing on structure and have fun with the story.
* Think of your script in quarters (like 4 acts).
* The midpoint is a thematic break, rather than a plot break. This is why 3 acts can often seem like 4.
* Think of the midpoint as page 60 of a 120 page script. A major plot decision that highlights the theme.
* Focus on set-ups and pay-offs.
* A good guide for scenes: they should be on average 2 minutes long. 7 in the first act, up to page 28-ish. Proceeds accordingly. (The maths on this doesn’t add up – maybe the person who suggested this tip could clarify?)
* Try to focus on plot events rather than acts when charting your A, B, and C strands.
* The major key to cracking structure is figuring out what events drive the plot. Not comprise it, but CAUSE IT.
* Do extensive character work, really get to know these people in and out, and the plot points you devise will be organic to your characters and believable to the audience.
* What’s your character’s goal? Their obstacles? Don’t prescribe, LISTEN!
* Don’t be married to your outline or you won’t embrace changes.
* Plotting: ‘Veni, vidi, vici – I came, I saw, I conquered’.
* Be sure that your lead character drives the action, despite you having ‘outlined their fate’.
* Characters should always be making choices true to the character. Bring ‘em to their breaking point honestly.
* You could break plot into 7 – 8 blocks with a dramatic question for each, and plot points spinning the story in a new direction (even if your story is linear, it shouldn’t walk a straight line!)
* Inciting incidents tend to appear earlier now than they used to in films, now occurring between page 5 – 10.
* Conflict drives story. Never forget that. Dexter was at its best when you were constantly fearing Dex getting caught. The Big Lebowski is funnier when Walter is yelling at Donnie.
* By page 5, the reader should know who the main character is and what they want. Why they can’t get it should follow soon after.
* The best scenes have three layers of conflict: intrapersonal (inside the character), interpersonal (between characters), and circumstantial (conflicting with their environment/situation/the greater world or order).
* Always know what all of your characters want, and how those desires clash, and there’s your tension.
* Your inciting incident should never be the most exciting thing in your script. The conflict should.
* DVD recommendation: ‘Heroes 2 Journeys’ (structure & character development)
* Book recommendations: ‘How to write a movie in 21 days’. ‘Myth & the movies’ by Stuart Voytilla (myth structures for 50 top films). Books written by David Howard, including ‘How to build a great screenplay’, and Paul Joseph Gulino, including ‘Screenwriting: the sequence approach’.

I don't know about you, but I think there's a lot of gold written above. Structure of plot and scenes intimidates me, but I think some of these tips will help me to move forward.

Next time I'll share some notes I made listening to a podcast. Yes, you could listen to the podcast yourself, but not everyone has 45 minutes to give their full attention over to a sound file. The topic will be scene writing, and it should be a nice little follow-up to this post on structure.

Screenwriters Anonymous - where a narcissistic, egotistical God complex with features of grandeur delusions is absolutely mandatory.

November 23, 2011

The First 15 Pages - tips from Scriptchat

If you get someone to read your script, you're lucky. Even if it's just your landlady's nephew with the weird nose spasm, you're lucky. 120 pages is a big investment of a person's time and gives-a-crapness.

But the most important step after getting them reading, is keeping them reading. If they get to page 8 and your characters are confusing, your time periods are changing, and the lead character isn't interesting, then you're not interesting and your script won't be read.

So what's the secret? Make your first 15 pages killer. Leave your reader dripping from the mouth and turning the pages feverishly.

Here's a few pointers on how you make those first 15 dazzle.

THE FIRST 15 PAGES 16th October 2011

* Too many writers now days don’t play with structure any more. Figure out fresh, new styles.
* Don’t follow a cookie-cutter structure style. Don’t let those screenwriting books make you uniform. They’re there to help you craft your art, not make you a clone.
* Don’t be strict with structure – let story unfold in an organic and interesting way.
* What is the unique identity of the script? Why does it need to be made?
* Every page must pull the reader onto the next. Cliffhang the shit out your work.
* Don’t try to establish everything, just get the reader interested. Films are moments, not information.
* Make audience worry about the decision the main character has to make.
* Want to break into the industry? Go make a movie. No-one’s looking to “discover” anyone anymore. Discover yourself and show yourself to the world, but maybe not in the way a 3-year-old boy does.
* Try a 4 act structure – breaking act II into two parts.
* Some writers do 10 x 10 page beats.
* Don’t clutter your dialogue with exposition.
* Let yourself suck. Then go back and fix all the parts that suck. Writers block is no excuse not to write. There are still things you can be doing.
* A lot of the best beginnings of films have little dialogue: Jaws, E.T., Halloween, Wall-E.
* Tone is huge; it needs to match the piece. If you’re writing a comedy, it can’t read dry and academic. If you can’t get at least one laugh from page one, you’ve done something very wrong.
* Character, dialogue, action, what’s happening beneath the surface, a hook – make people desperate for what happens next.
* Book recommendation: William Martell’s ‘The Secrets of Action Screenwriting’.

Also, don't fall into the trap of editing the start of your script 14,000 times more than the rest. Move on.

Next time on the show we talk to a woman whose husband turned out to be a woman who was really a duck, we see if we can play 7 Minutes in Heaven with Herman Cain in an inappropriate work setting, and fill you in on the big, fat, juicy tips from the Scriptchat on screenplay structure. Don't miss it, it'll be a doozy. 

What is a doozy anyway?

Screenwriters Anonymous - what happens in Final Draft, stays in Final Draft.

November 10, 2011

Quick TVWriterChat bite with writers of Shit My Dad Says

     Howdy pardners! Just a really short #TVWriterChat catch-up today to start catching up on the backlog (Is there such thing as a frontlog?)
Coming up in a few days, you can read the highlights from Scriptchat on the 16th of October, which focuses on how to write kickass first 15 pages of your script.

    TV WRITER CHAT 9th October 2011
Guest-starring: Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker of HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN and SHIT MY DAD SAYS

* Patrick and Justin got their start based off Justin’s Twitter account – ShitMyDadSays.
* It went from Twitter to book to TV deal.
* In TV, purchase-to-shoot is fast, usually pilot-to-purchase-to-TV all in one year.
* Cross-platform like this is seldom seen, but it could be a good opportunity for a writer to think outside the box, and not necessarily go straight for the screenplay route. There are other ways of getting attention.
* In pitching, above all, be passionate. It’ll sell you.
* Treat yourself like a brand.
* Hook up with experienced showrunner – they’ll shepherd the whole process.
* Multi-cam is set-up—joke. Feed the beast. Single-cam is more like a movie. Both can be great, or bad.
* U.S. TV pitching season: June – mid-September for networks, year-round for cable.
* It’s all about character. People watch because they connect with the characters, not one-liners.
* You can see the funnies on Twitter: ShitMyDadSays, follow Justin Halpern: Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker: PMSchumacker.

     There ya go! I just saved you reading through the transcript of a one-hour chat. You can thank me in your Oscars speech. Is that an impractical expectation? Okay, you can thank me in your daytime Emmy award speech.

'Til next time, read a damn script. Pick one you wouldn't normally read, or watch. I've got Knocked Up sitting here. Not big on the Judd Apatow humour, but if we only read and watched what we like, we'd, well actually, we'd probably all be happy, balanced, functioning human beings.

     Screenwriters Anonymous - admitting you have a 2nd act problem is the first step to recovery.

October 30, 2011

Revisions and Rewrites, on Scriptchat

So, you've got a script. You've finished your first draft and you have that new mother glow. Congrats!
It's funny, it's moving, it puts you on the edge of your seat, but your job is not over. It needs work. What do you do now?

You follow the wisdom of the Scriptchatters.

Get some learning into ya!

REVISIONS & REWRITES Sunday 9th October

* A revision is tightening and polishing.
* A rewrite is reworking the whole piece.
* After getting structure right, pick each scene apart, one by one. Are there enough conflicts? Forward motion? Is this scene necessary?
* Look at each scene. What HAPPENS, what information is carried? Make a list. (Seriously, do this.)
* Rewriting can be easier (and less overwhelming!) if you make a list of things to accomplish, e.g. character arc – check to see if you have scenes that do that.
* Track the transitions.
* It’s much easier to get feedback at the outline stage! Find holes, make a solid foundation. Save yourself a lot of time and stress.
* Don’t show your vomit draft to anyone.
* Read dialogue aloud for rewrites.
* One method for rewriting is to go back through and analyse one character at a time, focussing on their dialogue, movements, action, arc, etc.
* You can also pick a character and just read through all their dialogue, to see it’s consistent.
* Do a table read for dialogue (you will learn a lot).
* Is your dialogue rich in subtext, or full of painful obviousness?
* Is your exposition neatly packed away or in glaring full-view?
* Assess if you can show through action or the physical what’s currently happening in dialogue.
* Another method of rewriting is removing all dialogue temporarily from your script, read it like a silent film, see if it makes sense. It should.
* And yet another suggestion is read your script backwards, line by line. Do the means justify your end?
* Use a beat sheet. Google it if you don’t know what it is. Blake Snyder was big on it.
* When you get a producer’s rewrites, it’s important to love your core story so much that it doesn’t matter what exterior it wears.
* A strong antagonist makes a protagonist strong.
* Print out hard copy of your screenplay for editing (recycle and re-use!), and mark up with a pen. You’ll miss less and won’t just be shifting sentences about like you would on computer.
* I like writing and editing on paper as well for the fact you’ll edit it again as you’re transcribing it all into your computer. An extra filtration opportunity.
* Before AND after your first draft, write a synopsis. Holes becomes evident. Plus you’ll need it as a pitching tool.
* Instead of editing and editing and shifting bits around, consider rewriting the entire script. May save you time and heartache.
*There are no rules when it comes to rewriting and revisions. Experiment. See what works for you!

Yep, it's a lot of info., but it's a big process and it helps to have a game plan. I'd love to hear if you try out or have used one of these methods, or have a suggestion of another that should be added to the list.

Screenwriters Anonymous - for people who think Courier 12 sexy.

October 26, 2011

What makes a good pilot? TV Writer Chat juice

So you want to write for TV do you? You sick, sick person. You've come to the right place!
There's a TV boom going on at the moment, and it's an industry that always has jobs going.
How do you get one of those jobs? You write, learn to write good, then send your writing out and hope someone buys it or hires you.

Here are some stellar tips on writing a pilot with a chance of succeeding.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD PILOT? Sunday 2nd October

* A great pilot introduces premise, develops characters, and is also a good stand-alone episode.
* A premise ep. is the origin ep. For example, the first episode of LOST or HAPPY ENDINGS.
* Don’t do a premise ep. unless it can succeed as a regular ep. You want your pilot to give the viewer/reader a strong sense of what every ep. will feel like, and how stories are generated.
* Instead of writing a premise episode, consider compacting the premise into the teaser/1st act of the pilot, or maybe even into the title sequence.
* Even the title can show the premise, like DEATH VALLEY, or LAST MAN STANDING by Tim Allen.
* A good pilot can play anywhere in the series.
* Fish out of water shows tend to have premise pilots, and they hook you. MEN IN TREES, NORTHERN EXPOSURE.
* Sitcom is about an obstacle and how the main character approaches it. The pilot must highlight the main character.
* Most networks/buyers prefer a non-premise pilot.
* Premise pilots are used more in drama.
* Pay TV/cable shows can get away with being more premise-heavy in the pilot.
* Serialised event drama series tend to scare away buyers. Viewers want to be able to jump in and out easily (you remember what it was like if you missed a couple weeks of LOST... Lost is exactly what you were).
* Write a spec script before penning a pilot (a spec being a script of a pre-existing show). Get to know structure.
* Pilot should not only show template for other episodes, but the engine. What drives it.
* Show the fun of the world. Chances are the network will be buying the world.
* Characters need to be great, but relationships can’t grow in one episode. You need to build over time.
* A good pilot teaches the audience how to watch the show. Kinds of stories, humour, cadence...
* It’s hard to sell a spec pilot because networks want a hand in developing the series to their needs. This is where a bible can also ruin you.
* Still, spec pilots are a great way for landing representation and staffing gigs. It just may not ever get made.
* Surprising stories keep viewers coming back.
* A character doesn’t have to be likeable (look at Al Swearengen!) – just relatable.
* One way to make an unlikeable character more likeable is add a character who’s even worse (going with the Deadwood motif, this would be Cy Tolliver).
* You have three acts to suck in viewers. Make your act breaks sizzle.
* Dan Goor recommends always starting with the ad breaks, and figuring out the acts from there when breaking a story.
* Leave audience hanging when you shift to B story and back!
* In pilot, be sure to deliver on the premise of your logline/premise.
* Keep the story simple and the characters complex.
* In TV, the story can always be reworked, but at least one main character will remain constant – that’s what sustains a show (so make your characters solid and interesting!)
* TV loglines need to establish world and characters. Feature loglines establish drive and story.
* Most dramas are now: 6 acts, or a teaser + 5 acts.
* Check out: Done Deal boards.
* Book recommends: ‘The Cheeky Monkey, writing narrative comedy’ by Tim Ferguson, and ‘The TV Writers Workbook’ by Ellen Sandler.

I hope all this info. has gotten your brain even more excited (and not terrified and overwhelmed). I think the moral of this #TVWriterChat is know your target broadcaster. Don't write generic and send your pilot our everywhere. And be honest with yourself that you may never see your show made, but it may get you your first gig.

And don't just send out the first thing you write. It takes years to get good, and employers and agents want to see you are prolific, and your pilot wasn't a fluke. Don't kill your career before it's started by jumping the gun.

Now go, write!

Screenwriters Anonymous - I'll show you my script if you show me yours.

October 23, 2011

Action writing & Dirty Harry on scriptchat

Lights, camera, ACTION! Yes, today I give you the meaty bits from the Scriptchat on action writing. Not a lot of fodder, but quality kicks tuchus over quantity here.

Read on, my swaggering, square-jawed, quick-drawing writerinos!

ACTION WRITING (and Dirty Harry) Sunday 2nd October

* The best action films often have an anti-hero.
* Dirty Harry is a solid example of a well-conceived action film. Gets straight into the action, shows instead of tells, the lines of the hero blur, the antagonist is well-hidden, and there’s no dialogue until the bottom of page 4 in the script.
* In writing an action script, keep action lines short, punch, evocative. Onomatopoeia works: BANG!
* Tough balance between choreographing and keeping script moving fast.
* Action films are very goal-oriented.
* The action movies have a protagonist who is both sides of the coin (good/bad).
* Don’t just rely on car chases and explosions; involve strong characters with goals and weaknesses  (watch Quantum of Solace to see how not to do it).
* Try to have action sequences that illustrate character and further plot, if you can.
* Sometimes the hero is trying to be good but in the end must be bad to defeat the villain.
* Some action movies are: an everyman stuck in a confined environment against insurmountable odds.
* Die Hard II is a great example of contained action. It shows that action can be done on a budget if necessary.
* Star Wars worked because Lucas applied Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey.
* Currently, the action genre is ripe for a rebirth.
* Try to write a story where the action is character-generated, not so much CGI and special effects. 

In a few short days I'll share the marrow from the TV Writer Chat from the same day - What makes a good pilot? Oh it's a good one, and you'll learn some gems that could make or break your pilot.

Until next time, watch an action movie, or read an action script, or both. And if you figure out how to choreograph without choking up the page and stilting flow, let me know!

Screenwriters Anonymous - where talking to imaginary people will get you locked up in a writers guild.

October 11, 2011

Steve Kaplan Comedy Intensive seminar notes pt 3

Here it is, my lovely lumps of learning!
Part III (and the end) of the notes from Steve Kaplan's Comedy Intensive seminar. By now you probably believe what I said about it being a lot of information and the kind of thing you'll only truly benefit from by being there in person.

It's funny though how one little piece of advice may impact your writing. If you hadn't heard of the straight line/wavy line principle, would you have thought to infuse it into all your scenes? I hope when you've been watching Big Bang Theory or Frasier re-runs you've paid attention and witnessed the straight/wavy balance at play.

Alright, let 'er rip!


* The Greeks developed comedy (and tragedy?) Then the Romans appropriated it, then the Visigoths came and destroyed culture (the bastards).
* Commedia dell’Arte teaches us that a character creates plot, action, and movement.
* There are 8 comedy archetypes in Commedia. They may serve dual roles (in the categories of servant, master, or lover), but they are always the same. Drop the Harlequin in any situation and he will live up to his established nature.
Read up on Commedia and you may learn about character archetypes that you can use in your own writing.
* Characters are a closed universe. Use a small number of people to tell story.
* Have a duo with different character types. One should be smarter, higher status. Don’t fall into the trap of making your characters essentially the same. People aren’t in real life.
* Problems are GOLD!
* Crazy characters are joyful and optimistic. If they’re depressive, it won’t work.
* Groundhog Day has 6 acts. Recommended read: Groundhog Day script, second draft.
* Character needs a big hole to throw themselves into at the start.
* How to create a comic premise:
* Think of something that would not or could not happen.
* Ask yourself, what happens next?
* Once your premise is established you cannot tell another “lie”. Blake Snyder called this ‘Double mumbo jumbo’. If you have gotten your audience to ‘believe’ in a world of aliens, don’t add a talking shark halfway through. Don’t push the audience’s suspense of disbelief too far or you lose them.
* Your theme can be a question. ‘What’s the nature of being a kid?’ ‘How can you play God without becoming the Devil?’ etc.
* Follow the goal! No tangents. And don’t fragment reality for the joke’s sake. Your character is a ‘real’ person so don’t bend them to the joke. Bend the joke to them.
* Want to keep that joke? Simple! Just have another character doing it.
* Your protagonist needs to go through the impossible situation.
* Characters are brought on through theme or need.
* Premise in the engine – it starts everything. Theme is the rudder.
* The BIG DECISION – between two equal choices (two bad or two good).
* Characters determine events and structure. NOT the other way around!
* COMEDY PARADIGM (Comic hero’s journey):
- Man thinks his “out of balance” life is the norm.
- Fate/premise intervenes
- Man attempts to return to his norm, but in the process discovers a new norm; one that’s more balanced.
* Make the story believable for the character’s age.
* Keep friends/allies/the girl close physically. If your protagonist is trying to become the president and trying to win the girl, he should be with the girl and going after her as much as possible.
* Resist turning your protagonist into a true hero until the end (or kill the comedy).
* If a character is acting irrationally (being a straight line – look at Steve Kaplan Comedy Intensive seminar notes part II by scrolling down), you need a wavy character present to provide comedy, OR change the irrationality to a human response.
* Steve’s advice for overcoming writer’s block? Write the crappiest thing you know. You can’t fall any further – everything will be better after that.

Well, that's all folks. I hope you've injected your funny bones with all this juice, so you can write something that's not only funny, but well-written. 'Cos I am so sick of inferior comedies I will pay you to make me laugh (at least the $15 at the cinema).
Put something of yourself into your film or TV show. Don't make just another sitcom or blockbuster. Infuse your experiences, parts of real people, your personality and past, and that little something extra that will make people remember your movie long after the credits roll.

Next time on Screenwriters Anonymous I bring highlights from Scriptchat about writing action films, which will be followed by vital advice on writing a good pilot spec script from the all-knowing brains of TVWriterChat.

Until then, get watching comedy and seeing Steve's principles in action. Will you spot a metaphorical relationship, a protagonist who only becomes a hero at the end, or a scene where the familiar is put into the weird?

Feel free to comment and tell me if these pointers have improve your writing or ability to analyse comedy.

Screenwriters Anonymous - where everyone's secretly hoping you'll succeed. 

October 9, 2011

Steve Kaplan Comedy Intensive seminar notes pt 2

Hi, and welcome back to the show. In today's Screenwriters Anonymous, we bring you part two of the notes from the Steve Kaplan Comedy Intensive.
To read part one, simply scroll.
It's time to get high... on learning.


* Every character has their own point of view (and desires, fears, etc.) – not just the protagonist.
* Protagonists expect each of their actions to work and get the results they need, or at least make things better. So of course there is surprise when this does not occur, and may in fact make things worse.
* We like when characters do mean things, because they’re not doing it to be mean – they’re trying to make their own situation better. (This is important to think about when creating ‘evil’ characters. Plain old nasty villains are boring because their motivations are two dimensional. You must think from the villain’s viewpoint—they are only doing what they’re doing to achieve something for themselves, and they often feel that is the right thing.)
* Your character will be surprised when their selfish action/positive action doesn’t work.
* Their goal is to try and dissipate pain or anger.
* To make a character a better person, give them more skills. It reduces comedy, ups drama, and that’s not always a bad thing in a comedy.
* Cutting through subtext and just being direct can be funny (considering most dialogue throughout a film is subtext).
* Comedy is watching somebody watch somebody else be funny. We live vicariously through the witness to the hilarity (which they may not find funny).
* One character ‘sees’, the other is ‘blind’.
* Two character function types: straight line, and wavy line.
* The wavy line character represents us (and just to confuse you, the wavy line is the ‘straight’ one). They waver about in confusion of a situation with a straight line. They externally express inner emotions and impulses we can relate to.
* The straight line character is usually pretty confident in the conversation/situation. They don’t see anything as being ‘out of whack’.
* Wavy line/straight line are not character types. It switches constantly (watch a Seinfeld episode. George will be the confused one as Kramer explains something odd, then Seinfeld will be the confused one as George rants about a woman, etc.)
* Wavy line is open and vulnerable to the environment. A lot of looking and reacting, not much dialogue. We essentially just witness their exasperation and attempts to understand/find order.
* Once the wavy line character solves the problem, the wavy/straight ends, and wavy ‘comes into focus’ (finds clarity). Then the balance will shift again. You can just keep doing this over and over and it will provide consistent comedy.
* Though the straight line character may possibly be outrageous, it’s the wavy we’re focussing on.
* You can have many straight lines, but only one wavy.
* Straight achieves their goals and expectations.
* Wavy is like the sane person in an insane world. A lot of the humour comes from their frustration, and our empathising with the exasperation.
* Straight is ‘blind’/they create the problem. Wavy struggles.
* If a character stands up for themselves, they become a hero. In a comedy you don’t want this at the start. They’ll lose their underdog status and reach their goal too soon.

That's all for this week. Join us next time for the thrilling conclusion of... The Steve Kaplan Comedy Intensive.

Be there, or be, um, somewhere else.

Screenwriters Anonymous - the support group for people who constantly make film metaphors about life.